Listening to Myself

Friday, August 05, 2005

Real Live Preacher

Real Live Preacher (RLP) is a blog written by a somewhat unconventional Baptist minister in Texas. It is one of the first blogs I ever read consistently, and the blog I've read for the longest period of time. I've been reading his blog since sometime in the early spring of 2003, not too long after he got going online. One of his essays, called "The Preacher's Story", was very important in my journey into Christianity. Part four in particular was what I needed to read at that particular point in my life, and it really helped me move forward past a point I had been stuck at for a long time. If I had to cite the three main things that brought me to the point of my baptism in August of 2003 I would have to refer to Real Live Preacher for his thoughtfulness, kindness, and beautiful writings on faith and trying to live an authentic Christian life. I would also have to point to C.S. Lewis for his life-altering logic and clear writing. Last but not least I would also have to point to various family members for "walking the walk" and living a life of example.

But I think I've gotten away from where I meant to go with this. Recently, RLP wrote an essay called "The Future of Real Live Preacher" which I found stunning. I would recommend reading the essay and then coming back, if you don't mind. What I have to say will probably make more sense that way. As I read the essay, I was cringing inside, thinking that RLP was going to go offline, or at least to a much more limited posting regimen. Instead, I found that he is willing to take a huge leap into the unknown and go for what he loves and feels called to do. The sheer guts and audacity of his jump is almost too much for me to believe. I think this is what you'd call a leap of faith - perhaps even a crazy leap of faith. All I can do is sit back, watch in awe, and pray that he has the softest landing possible. I really admire his willingness to take the road that isn't the most pragmatic and safe one... but at the same time I find it terrifying.

I think I find this terrifying because, well, what if Matt were to do the same thing? Matt has it in him to be a terrific writer - although in a completely different genre. He writes sci-fi/cyber punk, and writes it well. He intuitively knows how to create characters and dialogue, and knows how to create tense, compelling action. He has real talent, and a huge part of me wishes he would just run with it and do it. Right now, he writes little snippets when something comes to the front of his mind with enough force to compel him to record it, but not much more than that. I have faith that he could do so much more but I know how hard it is for him to carve out the time to do it. And the thought of chucking the regular paycheck to do this unknown? Terrifying... but compelling, because I think I'd like to know and be with the version of my husband who would be willing to take this leap. I'm not even entirely sure this is what Matt would want for himself - he's reasonably happy doing what he does now, and occasionally even enjoys it. It pays decently, and it comes fairly easily to him. I just sometimes wonder if it is really want he wants to be doing.

OK, enough. Today is my birthday, and it is time for Emma and me to get started on my birthday cake! I'm making Gone with the Wind Cake with Lemon Filling and whipped cream on top. I think it sounds like a very nice summer cake, and I hope it turns out!

Oh, and I should add - Matt's started blogging again. The URL is http://vanderbrew.blogspot.com/. He has one snippet up that he wrote last night. I wish his archives from his old site were up, but I don't think they are accessible anywhere.

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